haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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