I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
