Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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