Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
