How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
