No, you can still breathe under the balls.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
