Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
