I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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