So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
