I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
