If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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