turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
