no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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