How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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