Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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