Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize