My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
