lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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