Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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