ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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