i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
