I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
