remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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