Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
