This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
