Define "chronic" masturbator.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
