jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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