Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
