I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
