yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
