my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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