Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
