so that wasnt chicken after all
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
