You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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