So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
