Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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