I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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