I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
