Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
