i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
