kristin has been a bad kristin
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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