pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
