She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
