sorry about calling you the devil all night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
