My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
