I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
