Say something about gay babies.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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