Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
