I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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