thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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